Retirement Identity, Your Starbucks Loan, Meditation, Anthony Bourdain, And Pickleball?
Who Are You After You Retire?
Welcome To The World Of “Used To Be’s”!
BE PREPARED TO MEET THE NEW YOU
For the last 40 years, I’ve had a series of identities. I was John the Project Manager, John the Operations Manager, and John the President. It was my identity. It was who I was when I walked into a meeting. It was who I was when I went out to lunch with clients or vendors. I was who I was when I got dressed in the morning.
When you make the shift into retirement, you’re leaving that behind. You’re shedding that identity and becoming something different.
I was now John the “Yousta-Be” Big Shot.
I learned the hard way that you must be prepared for this change heading into retirement. You have to plan on this shift in identity.
FUNERAL FOR MY IDENTITY
A few months after I retired, a former employer of mine celebrated its 100th anniversary. It was a huge crowd that included former employees like me, and many customers, suppliers, vendors, and subcontractors they had done business with over the years. It was a great night where I was able to see many people I hadn’t seen in years. We swapped old war stories and talked about what we had been up to.
The next morning I was paralyzed and depressed. I couldn’t move off of the couch and didn’t want to do anything. It wasn’t until my wife asked me what was wrong and we started talking that it dawned on me what was going on. I realized that the party was like going to my career funeral. Most of the people I was seeing for the last time. I was talking to these people not as John the big shot, but John as the “I used to be a big shot”. I am very happy with my new role, and wouldn’t change a thing, but the party was like the formal goodbye to the me of 40 years, and it stung a bit. Once I had that realization and brought those feelings to the surface, it was a relief. I was able to say goodbye in a conscious way to the old me and reconfirm my comfort as the new me.
I suggest you spend some serious time thinking about this change. Who will you be in retirement? Here’s an article by retirement coach Dorian Mintzer with some tips to help out:
5 Ways To Avoid Having A Retirement Identity Crisis
A Bit Of Humor
Money Matters
Starbucks Gift Cards = Big Loans, Thanks To Us
Starbucks has over $1 billion on it’s books in unused gift card balances. They don’t need to borrow money to run their business, they just need people like me who have unused balances on their gift cards. No wonder the barista’s are so nice.
Read More About Our Loans To Starbucks
Health & Vitality
Meditation - I Know, But Hear Me Out.
In a previous post I detailed my efforts to make the most of my health and wellness. In searching for ways to maximize my mental health, I discovered meditation.
Between politics, war, inflation, and a pain-in-the butt virus, it’s easy to find yourself tumbling into a bad mood rabbit hole. It’s a nice tool to help get you through the stress and anxiety that we all face. It’s nice that meditation also helps lower your blood pressure.
Over the years I’ve read about well known people singing the praises of meditation like Sting, Hugh Jackman, Oprah, Jerry Seinfeld, Lady Gaga, pro sports teams, heck, even Phil Michelson. So I decided to give it a try, and I doubt I’ll ever stop. It’s 10 minutes every morning before coffee, and it gets my day started in the best way.
“The goal of meditation is not to get rid of thoughts or emotions. The goal is to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions and learn how to move through them without getting stuck” Dr. P. Goldin via Parade.com
When I started meditating 7 years ago, I explored a few phone apps. They all provide guided meditations where someone coaches you through each session. And they all offer free trials so you can get a taste of what they offer. Here’s a run down on ones I’ve used:
Calm
Calm was the first App I tried. It provides free entry level programs and a wide variety of meditations and what they call “Sleep Stories” for helping you go to sleep. Calm was Apples #1 App for 2017 and is the most popular mediation app in the App Store.
Insight
Insight is a free meditation app that relies on donations to fund their operation. You are not under any obligation. I like their app because you can create your own un-guided meditation with sounds like babbling brooks and wind chimes. 20 million people use Insight worldwide.
Balance
Balance is one of the newest apps out there. I would recommend this one for any newbie because they provide what they call “Foundations”. They are meditation trainings with increasing levels of skills. The app also excels by asking you a few questions before each session so it can personalize each session based on how you feel.
Waking Up
My favorite meditation app and the one I use the most is Waking Up by Sam Harris. Besides the usual free trial and entry level teaching, Sam provides a ton of educational content geared towards helping you live your best life. This would be my first choice for anyone who has experience in meditation.
All you need is 10 minutes a day to get you heading towards a less stressful way of being. Consider starting a meditation practice as a gift to yourself.
Reading & Watching
Anthony Bourdain - Cooks Tour
I recently re-watched Roadrunner - A Film About Anthony Bourdain. I was as sad about his suicide the second time I watched it as I was the first. I also listened to an episode of The Tim Ferriss Show podcast where he interviews Morgan Fallon, the director of photography for the Anthony Bourdaine series Parts Unknown.
Both the film and podcast mention Bourdain’s first series Cook’s Tour. Compared to Parts Unknown and No Reservations, Cooks Tour is a little rough. But you get a glimpse of a younger Tony getting used to his new role in front of a camera instead of a stove.
I’m happy to see the recent spotlight that’s finally being put on mental illness. It’s all around us and it needs to be treated with openness and compassion, not stigma and fear.
Here are the links to Cook’s Tour on YouTube and the Tim Ferriss podcast episode I mentioned.
The Tim Ferriss Show - Morgan Fallon
I came across this article about how Bruce Springsteen survived his depression. If only Tony reached out………
How Bruce Springsteen Survived Depression
Fun & Frivolity
Pickleball Is In Chaos
Would you guess that pickleball, the poster activity for retirement living, is the source of more turmoil than Miley Cyrus would cause in a convent? Here’s an article that gives you the details of the mess that is organized Pickleball.
Pickleball Is Booming. Pickleball Is In Chaos.
A Quote To Chew On
“I never allow myself to have an opinion on anything that I don’t know the other side’s argument better than they do”. Another quote from Charlie Munger